Being aware of trauma

People can suffer all sorts of hurts and trauma.

One of the church’s tasks is to “weep with those who weep” and “bind up the broken-hearted”.

How can we do it best? And what if the church is the cause of the trauma?

(If you have suffered from church trauma, I suggest you read When christianity leads to trauma, rather than this page. This page is aimed more at church leaders and caring Christians rather than those affected by trauma.)

What is trauma?

Psychological trauma is an emotional response to stressful events that shatter a person’s sense of security. It can lead to anxiety, flashbacks, and emotional numbness.

Trauma can result from direct threats to life or safety, or from experiences that leave a person feeling overwhelmed and isolated.

Events such as serious accidents, witnessing violence, bereavement, sexual assault, natural disasters and being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness can lead to trauma. Repeated or continuous events (“microaggressions”) such as emotional abuse or childhood neglect may also be traumatic.

Not everyone has long-lasting effects from these events, but some people respond to a psychologically overwhelming event with shock, denial, and changes in the body, mind, and behaviour, because of trauma.

Religious trauma

Sadly, religion and churches can be a cause of trauma. (This is recognised by psychologists and known as RTS – Religious Trauma Syndrome.)

People both within and outside the church can be traumatised by physical or sexual abuse, bullying or manipulation by leaders, fear of hell and judgment, exclusion, and other causes.

People with disabilities, LGBTQA+ individuals and women are more likely than other people to report higher levels of harm and ongoing trauma from their involvement in churches.

Religious trauma can lead to loss of faith, shame, loss of confidence and loss of Christian community.

Ana’s story

Ana’s story illustrates several aspects of religious trauma.

Religion was everything in Ana’s childhood. Her family attended a conservative evangelical church, and she was home-schooled using a conservative christian curriculum. Her social life was church and youth group.

For a while she was in a relationship with a man who pressed her into various sexual activities that avoided actual intercourse. She felt guilty, but he insisted it wasn’t condemned in the Bible. She became traumatised by this abusive relationship, and was confused about her identity.

While she was attending a christian college, Ana went through a process of questioning her christian beliefs. By the time she graduated, she no longer believed a lot of what she had been taught.

After Ana was married, she started to attend her husband’s church. But she found herself experiencing a panic attack as she approached the church, and at other times, including when the pastor made a joke about the role of women in church. Her body was reacting to being in “evangelical spaces”. And she found she had problems relating to her husband sexually, because of her upbringing within “purity culture”.

Finally Ana found a therapist who had experience in addressing religious trauma. She is now much more at peace, but isn’t sure any more about her belief in God.

Causes of religious trauma

It would be helpful if all churches were aware of the different ways they might cause harm, and how they might avoid it.

1. Controlling behaviour

Christian pastors and leaders are in a respected and influential position. Unfortunately, this position can sometimes lead to behaviour that is harmful and manipulative.

Authoritarian leaders can demand unquestioning obedience, stifling people’s growth and creating dependence. This can lead to leaders controlling people’s lives, including personal relationships and important life choices.
Leaders may even insist they are speaking on behalf of God, increasing the stakes for the people they control, and implying God’s judgment on those who don’t follow their advice.
Woman particularly may be made to feel they are disobeying God if they don’t submit to the pastor and to their husbands. Patriarchal and controlling attitudes can lead to emotional and spiritual abuse. Ministers and husbands can exercise power over women in ways that can be psychologically damaging. Women can feel stifled or demeaned, and lose confidence. Studies show that domestic abuse is more likely to occur in such churches.
Anyone who questions their decisions and teaching may be made to feel they are creating problems and even going against God.

These behaviours can amount to bullying. Congregation members lose opportunities to grow in using their gifts in service. Sensitive people can suffer deep trauma.

All this is contrary to the true role of pastors and leaders. They are supposed to be equipping people for the work of ministry (Ephesians 4:11-13), so that the people mature in their faith. Pastors should be teaching and assisting people to learn to depend on the Holy Spirit rather than the pastor, so that their way of thinking and decision-making is tranformed (Romans 12:1-2).

2. Harmful beliefs

Some beliefs that form part of modern day Christianity can be traumatising.

Conventional teaching on hell and judgment can damage people, especially children, and especially if it is presented vividly. Nick said on Twitter: “Yeah my fear of hell and the devil directly influenced a lot of the mental health problems I battle today. It might not be the same for everyone, but I truly would have rather grown up in an atheist family.”
Keith Mascord and others have reported that thinking about so many people drowning in Noah’s flood was traumatic to them as children. Other violent Old Testament stories can have a similar effect.
Some churches teach that healing prayer will always be answered. Those who aren’t healed can be made to feel inferior, leading to “guilt, shame, isolation, and marginalisation”.
Finding some doctrines and Biblical accounts distressing, many people these days are “deconstructing” the faith they grew up with and rejecting some accepted teachings. If churches are sympathetic to this process, it can lead to renewed faith. But if churches oppose this questioning, it can lead to rejection and loss of faith. Sometimes members of the church, even close family, are told to avoid contact with the one departing.

A wise church will consider whether teachings that can be hurtful may not be true or properly understood, or should be de-emphasised, or could be taught in more sensitive ways, to avoid harm. The Bible says love must be our primary response (1 Corinthians 13).

3. Shame & exclusion

People can feel shamed because of their past life, their identity or something thay have done.

Many LGBTQI people experience being shamed and condemned in unloving ways, leading many to feel trauma and to give up on church or faith. This trauma can even lead to suicide.
Churches which have strict attitudes to sexual expression and enforce this ethic in ways that are hurtful. Many people who feel traumatised by religion point the finger at “purity culture“.
White middle class churches can feel unwelcoming to people who come from a different demographic – poor, black, addicted, mentally ill, divorced, disabled, police record, etc. One person reported: “As a divorced person who experienced domestic violence, I was always treated as a second-class citizen.”

Rejection, shame and guilt can lead a person to feel unworthy of God’s love and unable to follow Jesus.

4. Abuse

Studies show a relatively high rate of sexual abuse in churches and religious institutions, often associated with the relationship imbalance between a pastor and layperson.. This abuse obviously has enormous adverse effects on the victims.

As noted above, churches with a strong view of male headship have higher rates of domestic abuse, and may not be sympathetic or supporting of women who feel they must flee an abusive relationship.

One woman said: “I was in a hotel with my babies fleeing a violent outburst from my husband ; my pastor told me to go home and submit.”

What goes wrong?

We can see here some themes that pastors and leaders need to be aware of.

Accountability vs control

The Bible tell us (Ephesians 4:11-16) that the role of pastors, teachers and other leaders is to equip people to use their gifts and to mature in their faith. People learn by doing (and making occasional mistakes), not just be being told.

So while leaders have a role in teaching and nurturing, conviction and choice are each individual’s responsibility. Tempting as it may be, giving strong advice is almost always a red flag, for it leads to dependence rather than maturity, bondage to rules rather than the freedom Jesus came to give us.

Each Christian needs to learn how to read and understand the Bible for themselves, and how to be guided by the Holy Spirit in understanding and making choices.

In the end, Jesus is the leader of the church, through his Spirit. “The bride belongs to the bridegroom!”

So the church needs servant leaders who know they don’t know everything. The church will function best when everyone’s gifts are nurtured and used, sometimes to give direction to the leaders!

When these Biblical principles aren’t followed, the church almost always suffers and people are traumatised – as we have seen in several high profile cases in recent years.

Honesty

Leaders must be honest about not knowing everything.

Two millennia of Christianity have seen growth in understanding, corrections and re-thinking on many issues. The Reformation and Charismatic Renewal brought new and helpful understandings of faith and the Holy Spirit. Attitudes have (mostly) changed to slavery, war, racism, women in the church and patriarchy. Many Christians and churches are developing new understandings of same sex attraction, hell and atonement.

Whatever you may believe about each of these issues, the reality is that the present church isn’t perfect, and that means some things will at some point need to change. Being honest and sharing different Christian viewpoints on some of these issues will give people freedom to think for themselves (under the guidance of scripture and the Spirit).

People who having doubts and reconstructing their faith will be more likely to feel safe asking questions and disagreeing with established views. The congregation can feel less threatened by alternaive views.

Sensitivity & love

We are all required to speak what we believe to be the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). And love is the greatest virtue of all (1 Corinthians 13).

So people who think differently or act differently must be treated with sensitivity and love. LGBTQI people and women have often been traumatised by the church, and suicide is higher among queer people.

Whatever doctrines we may hold, we have a strong duty of care, from Jesus himself (see e.g. John 8:2-11, Mark 9:42, Luke 7:36-50, Matthew 11:28, 12:15-21) to cause no harm and to nurture rather than condemn.

Safe processes

Safe processes for children and vulnerable adults are now generally mandated by civil or church law. It goes without saying that these prcedures should be followed diligently for the sake of vulnerable people.

Other sources of trauma

Many different life events can cause trauma, and people affected by trauma may be attending church. If churches understand trauma, they are better able to minister grace, compassion and healing.

Becoming a trauma-aware church

Next post.

References

The psychology of trauma:

Trauma. American Psychological Association.
Stress and Trauma. Australian Government Institute of Health and Welfare.
Psychological Trauma. Health Direct.
What is trauma. PsychCentral.

Religious trauma:

When religion harms. Dr Joel Hollier. Joel has researched religious trauma, and the following additional references may be helpful.
- Trauma-Informed Church? Three talks on Apple podcasts.
- Joel’s website.
- The Shape of Religious Harm. Summary of research, University of Sydney.
- Mechanisms of religious trauma amongst queer people in Australia’s evangelical churches. Academic paper.
Religious Trauma Syndrome. Marlene Winell.
When christianity leads to trauma. From my other website, aimed more at helping those who may be experiencing trauma.
Spiritual Abuse in the Church: Signs, Red Flags, and How to Break Free. Worthy Counselling Centre.
Church Leadership: Understanding Accountability vs. Control. Timothy Lee, Acts blog.

Photo: this photo by Kamuelaboy was on MorgueFile, but I can’t find it there now.

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